I’m having a dictionary party. Please come to my dictionary party. Bring your favorite dictionary.

I got the idea from the Amazon page for the Oxford English Dictionary. The OED on Amazon is a 20 volume set and can be yours for $1000 and there’s an ad on the Amazon page that features the OED in an apparent party context, with confetti and ribbons draped over the straight faced volumes. They look like tax examiners for the Internal Revenue Service in party-hats.

I will provide Doritos Cool Ranch and Doritos Max Cheesiest with extra Dorito flavor Level 5, but this will be a Bring Your Own Mountain Dew Event.

But please come to my dictionary party. Unless you’re planning on bringing your physical copy of the Microsoft Encarta Dictionary. Even though it has the word dictionary in the title, you need to admit to yourself that it’s not a dictionary. I’m sorry, but if you bring the Microsoft Encarta Dictionary, you’ll have to leave. This is a party after all, and we want it to be fun, so we have to draw the line somewhere.

It’s a party, not a soup kitchen.