Our cat, Henrietta, is a bit of an embarrassment to us—she has no sexual ethics to speak of and gets pregnant from time to time. Henrietta can’t be contained. So we have kittens hanging around occasionally.

We had some people over. We were having drinks. The kids came in and said, “The kittens are eating a squirrel.” Several of us wanted to see little kittens eating a dead squirrel, so we went out to the garage to see.

I want you to know that we got to see a squirrel being eaten. It was almost everything you could wish for, if you want to see how things are out in the wilds, out in the neighborhoods, where anything can happen.

But we didn’t get to see what we wanted to see. It was an old cat eating a squirrel. Henrietta was eating the squirrel. We know she’s depraved. Very loose sexual ethics, remember. Kittens though—we wanted to see kittens ruin our idea of kittens.

My brother Gabe said, “I really wanted to see something adorable eating something adorable.”

We all nodded gravely. Gabe had really said what we were all thinking.

But kittens manage their image pretty carefully. They know their brand and they stick to it. The kittens were on point from a branding perspective. We were disappointed, but we had to hand it to the kittens. Way to keep nailing it, kittens.